When we first start out in cognitive awareness (are born) we first experience things as they are to us, meaning that we take things at face value.
There was an anecdote in one of Carlos Castenada’s books (the name escapes me at the moment) where the author depicted how a young Native American child was asked was asked,
“what color is that pony”… The pony was black and white, and striped and was standing off to the side, therefore only one side of the pony was exposed to view…
The child replied, “it’s black and white, on this side…”
The child didn’t assume the other side of the pony looked the same, but with experience would probably “know” that the pony was stripe don the other side, too and same colors, but didn’t assume that.
Point being, experience brings knowledge of sorts but also jades new learning experiences because it means we attached previous knowledge to new epxeriences.
So when we start out in life, we merely experience things as they appear to us, we make no assumptions, we’re accepting things as they are, and assume nothing since we don’t have any experiences yet by which to make projections and assumptions.
So, with that tought in mind, let’s think of how we pereceive ourselves as individuals, and where the quest for self-improvement and motivation come into play.
We start out absorbing everything.
Then we develop perosnalities
Then we start seeing ourselves as part of a community
Thne self-awareness kicks in.
With self-awareness comes judgment, and when we start to analyze how we interact with others.
Are we cool, likeable, friendly, funny, smart, good looking, etc…?
What do we want to be? Do we like who we are?
These are the questions that arise from the self awareness phase, and this phase begets the self-improvement phase.
The self-improvement phase….
Once we find out who we are, or start finding out more and more about ourselves, we explore interests, and depending on our psyhes and mindsets and attitudes towards ourselves and others, we start making some assessments…
I want to be smarter, more cool, more good looking, athletic, academic, richer etc…
For a lot of a people the self-improvement phase is a never-ending one and in my opinion, I don’t think this is a phase we always want to put most o four focus on.
To be truly happy, I think we need to morph our quest for self-improvement into a hybrid mode of sorts. whereby we’re still trying to improve our self, but also realizing that it’s OK if we don’t become the riches, coolest, smartest person/people ever…
Example: Let’s say that part of your quest for self improvement was to manage your time better and it’s something you’ve always struggled with… At some point I/you/we have to realize that we may NEVER be the best manager of our time, because there’s other parts of our personality over-riding this achievement (good time management)
Maybe we like keeping busy, and filling up our days with bust work and activities.
So what if you’re no tmanaging your time well and are constantly late for stuff, as long as it doesn’t REALLY negatively affect your life, it’s OK, it really is.
Am I saying we should not strive to better ourselves?
No, not at all, but what I am trying to point out here is that if there’s something we’ve always been bad at, or need improvement upon, let’s analyze why we’re trying to improve on this “thing” and what the real reason is for trying to making things different?
To please others or to please ourselves?
The quest for self improvement should start with the underlying notion that achievement of said quest will make us happier in some way, but as was aforementioned, what if your personality and lifestyle is such that you like things the way they are?
Anyhow… just food for thought here….
Recap:
We start out finding out about ourselves, then we develop ourselves via academics and in the work force, then we strive for self improvement for whatever reasons, but to be truly happy at some point you just need to accept yourself as you are.
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